As One Man With One Heart

This is an article written by my youngest son as a chizuk for all that need it. Read it and be inspired.

In this weeks Parsha theTorah tells us. That when the Yidden arrived at Har Sinai, “Vayichan Shom Yisroel Neged Hahor”. Rashi explains that they were “K’ish Echad B’lev Echad”, as one man with one heart.

As this long Galus lingers on we are all too familiar with this reality. There’s a growing number of young adults amungst us that choose a life different than that which they were raised. Each has their own book of stories with reasons that vary. Unfortunately they fall to a low spiritual level and no longer feel that a Frumlifestyle works for them. Some in their early teens others in their twenties. These individuals could be a close friend from school or Yeshiva. He or she could be a sibling or child. Whatever and whomever it may be the pain and discomfort is so great. The families are ashamed and don’t speak of them. They are missed by theShabbos & Yom Tov table by their families and a void is felt by their close friends.

Depending on the situation some choose to stay in touch others don’t. There are those that last a number of months others years. Time passes, but with the help ofHashem and people that care and know how to take the proper steps to get to the root of what drove them to change their ways, they make their way back to beingFrum. A tremendous amount of joy and Nachas can be seen by their parents and families. An out pour of love and support is given to them as justified. They continue to grow and give their parents lots of Nachas as they make progress. Everyone that knows the families of these precious Neshamos can now hear them so proudly say how amazing he or she is doing and its great to see them come back to Frumkeit. Many do not resemble what they looked like before. They are now Frum Shomer Torah Umitzvos again Baruch Hashem. At this point nobody judges them, “it doesn’t matter how they look and dress as long as they areFrum”. They’re outer appearance is no longer a factor of how they are viewed.

There’s a select group of individuals living among us that are unknown. They may be your son, daughter, brother, sister, or even spouse. They may be from very different backgrounds very different kind of families and upbringings however; they all share one important feeling that lives deep inside their hearts every single day.

These Neshamos are those that struggle day in and day out with staying Frumand serving Hashem proudly. He or she may have grown up in a very Frumfamily. As young teens they felt they didn't belong. They aren't the same as their siblings and classmates. Out of love for Hashem and their parents they chose not to abandon their dress code and Frum way of life.

As these individuals grow up and reach an age of independence some decide to change the way they dress to a way they feel makes them happy or more comfortable as a person. A way that better reflects who he or she is as an individual but that never changes their connection to Hashem. They are still the same person they were while dressed with their original attire. Many get dirty looks from family, friends and the people that are closest to them. They will be ignored and stared at made to feel like an outcast. Eyes rolling can be seen and whispers can be heard behind they’re backs. In some instances they are pushed away and are no longer accepted due to their change of outer appearance.

This is the secret that lives inside these individuals. These words constantly echo in their minds, “just because I never stopped being Frum doesn't mean it isn't hard for me to stay Frum”. Just because I changed my outer appearance doesn't mean I don’t deserve credit for being Frum and keeping strong and not sliding off the path”. “Who are you to judge ones relationship with Hashem and how they feel in their heart of hearts about Yiddishkeit?” There is no shortage of people that do dress with the full garb and aren't truly Frum. They choose to live a double life and are viewed as good enough in society because they never changed they’re outside appearance out of fear of being judged and unaccepted.

You never know who is feeling this way.You never know who may Chas V’shalomdecide to make drastic changes in their lifestyles in order to be noticed. Only then will they be given all that credit they so badly needed.

We all can in some way relate to this. Whether it be a friend, sibling, or possibly a child. Even if he or she isn't a teen doesn't mean they aren't struggling to stayFrum and a true good Yid. Their dress does not define who they are as a person or how strong their Emuna and Bitachon is. We live in a “cookie-cutter society” but the reality is, no two people are created alike.

You may think to yourself, “my home is no place for ones who don’t dress as we do”. You think that by doing that you’re shielding your children. On the contrary, you should teach them that even if someone doesn't look or dress the same as we do they are still accepted and welcome in our home.

Our job is to recognize these Neshamos and try to understand how they feel. “Give them credit for who they are and not put them down for the way they dress”. You never know who’s Neshama and future generations you’re saving and theS’char you’ll receive for doing so. There are Baruch Hashem lots of great Kiruvorganizations that do amazing work bringing back those who slipped away or others who were never taught about Yiddishkeit. But there’s no organization that helps these precious Neshamos. Only Hashem gives them the strength to go on and deal with the pain and embarrassment they constantly have for no valid reason. Just remember “V’ahavta L’reacha Komocha” isn't meant only if your fellow Jew looks like you or dresses in a way you feel they should. We don’t know if all the Yidden looked and dressed the same as they stood at Har Sinai. But one thing we do know is that they stood’ “K’ish Echad B’lev Echad,” as one man with one heart and we should do the same every day.

May Hashem help us all that we should have an easy time raising our children on the right derech. They should always be proud & happy Frum Yidden and only have lots of Yidishe Nachas. Amen.

My Speech at Nussbaum-Goldberg Sheva Brochos

This week we read parshas Ki Siso es Rosh Bnei Yisroel. There are many interpretations of these words. I would like to add my homiletic interpretation. Ki soso, if you want to elevate yourself to a higher spiritual degree; Bnei Yisroel, to the higher level of Yisroel, which the Torah generally uses to connote a higher level Jew. You can elevate yourself by asking and receiving atonement. How, says the Torah. By acting in unity achdus with other Jews. The Torah gives us the mitzva of the Half Shekel donation to the Beis HaMikdosh. Many commentators explain this that each Jew is only a half but if he connects with another Jew in unity then they become a whole. In this fashion one may then be able to elevate oneself to a higher level of spirituality.

In the next section the Torah gives the mitzva of making a Kiyor, water cistern, in the Mikdosh for the cohanim to wash their hands and feet prior to doing any service. The Kiyor is the only Mishkan vessel that had no measurement prescribed by Hashem. Why not? The Kiyor was made of copper from the melted down copper mirrors that the Jewish women donated. At first Moshe Rabeinu was loathe to use this material as the mirrors represented unholy actions. Hashem however, told Moshe that quite the opposite. These mirrors were used by the women in Egypt to bring their tired husbands closer and in this way bring tens of thousands of Jewish children to build a fledgling nation. In Hashem's eyes the mirrors were holy. Says the Pnei Menachem, when Jewish women gave away their material possessions in order to bring about holiness, then the holiness has no limits. The Kiyor has no limited parameters.

At the end of the parsha, the Torah states that Korahn Ohr Pnei Moshe. Moshe's face shown with a holy intense light so that he had to cover his face with a veil. One of the reasons for this reward says the Medrash, was that Moshe put some leftover ink from writing the first Sefer Torah on his face and beard. Chazal compare the Yetzer Hora Satan to a hair. Why? Because often the difference between a good action and a wrong one is a hair thin decision. The Yetzer Hora tries to get a person to make a wrong decision. The extra ink seemed to be worth almost nothing. Yet to Moshe, to whom anything Torah connected was of the utmost value, this ink was important. By wiping it across his beard he wanted to show the Yetzer Hora that even Torah actions which seem unimportant, mitzvos that a person steps on with his heel, are all always important.

To the Nussbaum family, anything that is Torah and yiddishkeit is at the top of their list. They received this lesson from their father R' Yakov Dovid z'l. R' Yakov Dovid was a paradigm of a Torah-true Jew who did anything and everything to enhance the value of Torah in his life. The Medrash says that Dovid HaMelech said, I think of what I want to do this day. I turn my feet to the marketplace but my feet take me to the Beis HaMedrash. The Sfas Emes interprets this that Dovid actually did go to the marketplace to work. But when he arrived he turned his mundane material work into Torah living. This was R'Yankel Dovid Nussbaum. He went to his diamond business every day but his day was filled with thoughts and actions of Torah and yiddishkeit. This way of life he gave to his children.

This is a family which elevates itself to the highest levels of Torah holiness and yiddishkeit by bringing about unity in the community. Whether this be unity in material matters or in spiritual matters. The Nussbaums aren't impressed by material and physical endeavors. To them only Kedusha and Torah are important. And as true Cohanim, their Kiyor has no limitations to its holiness.  And above all, anything that connotes Torah is always at the forefront in their minds and in their actions.

May the new couple build a bayis neemon that will be le'sheim ule'siferes for Klal Yisroel and both families.